Finding Alice Read online

  He reached the park sat down on a bench, near the garden where he had passed out, during his drunken episode.

  So Alice had left Bill. There were a lot of questions. I wonder if he knows about Alice and me? No wonder he hadn’t seen her or Susie around. I wonder if Bill will turn up at the party tomorrow night? Probably not he thought. People in this neighbourhood usually don’t invite unattached people to their houses, although, in this case the neighbours holding the barbecue, had been good friends with Bill and Alice.

  He would have loved to go over to see Bill, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Bill either, since he had come back from hospital. He didn’t know it at the time, but at least a couple of these questions were to be answered the following night. Better get back Audry is waiting.

  As they left for the barbecue Audry instructed him,

  “Just one or two beers John and remember it was whiplash.”

  John didn’t reply.

  The usual crowd was at the barbecue but no sign of Bill. They were making the usual suburban conversation and one of them wanted to know what grass John had planted on his front lawn. John told him it was Sir Walter. God these people were boring.

  Around 9 o’clock, he went to the laundry, to get another beer out of the tub, where they were being kept on ice. A loud slurred voice came at him from behind,

  “You fucking bastard, it was you all the time.”

  There was Bill, beer in hand and it definitely wasn’t his first.

  “I treated you as a mate and this is what you do to me, you bastard.” He staggered nearly falling over then propping himself up on the washing machine.

  “Don’t try to deny it. Alice has told me everything you lying prick. And to think you sat there in my kitchen, drinking my beer, letting me think it was that fucking gym instructor. You would have to be the biggest scum on earth.”

  “YOU caused her to have a mental breakdown, you fuckin family breaker. Now she wants a divorce.”

  Bill was both angry and almost crying at the same time.

  “I’m really sorry mate ....,” John started to say, but before he could finish his sentence, Bill lunged towards him.

  “I’ll give you sorry..... you bastard.”

  Unfortunately, Bill lost his footing and ended up on the floor. John tried to help him up.

  “Leave me alone you fucking bastard.”

  People had heard the noise and came to see what the trouble was.

  “Bill’s fallen over. He’s had a bit to drink,” said John.

  Bill just stumbled around trying to get up, yelling, “fucking bastard, fucking bastard.”

  “I’d better get him home,” said the host, “he looks like he’s had enough.”

  John thought he had had enough too and told Audry he was going home.

  “What’s wrong with Bill?” she asked.

  “He’s drunk,” John replied and started to leave. As he walked out he could still hear Bill saying,

  “Fucking bastard,” over and over again, as the host and another guest, helped Bill across the road.

  John sat in the lounge room chair. He could really do with a scotch, but there was nothing in the house. About half an hour later, the front door opened and slammed. Audry marched in.

  “You had an affair with that tart Alice, didn’t you John, you bastard?” At least she is only calling me a bastard, rather than a fucking bastard, thought John.

  “How could you do this to me, its all over the neighbourhood. How am I ever going to show my face again?” And with that she stormed out of the room.

  John sat there thinking, he was sober for once. Bill had come in and abused him before he could get the second beer. He was surprisingly rational. Three things were clear, Audry cared more about what the neighbours thought, than anything else, Alice and Bill were getting divorced and Alice had had some sort of a breakdown. No wonder she had yelled at him that day at Tyrone. In fact there had been a lot of people abusing him lately.

  For the next week he and Audry hardly spoke to each other. Their marriage was deteriorating and the situation was getting worse by the day. They were sleeping in separate beds.

  It was now Friday afternoon, nearly a week after the barbecue and he was sitting on the front veranda, thinking about things. He could understand why Bill had been so abusive and didn’t hold any grudge against him. It was also becoming all too clear to John, why Alice and Bill had split up. Alice was far too sophisticated for Bill. She could be anything she wanted to be, from the sexy seductress at the dinner party, to the smart businesswoman at his office, to the wild untamed woman by the river. Bill was underneath it all, a nice bloke who had been badly hurt. But that was all he was ever going to be. He could ever only play one role. The nice yobbo.

  He thought about all that had happened. Alice screaming at him by the river saying..........” fuck off, you’re the last person I want to see,.....” “that’s your problem” and Jane’s voice saying, .... “give her some time.” Things were definitely different than he had thought. But then, his mind went to what Bill had yelled at him in his drunken state at the barbecue. He didn’t say, ..... “Alice had a mental breakdown”. He said .....“YOU caused her to have a mental breakdown.” Wasn’t that really what, had also happened to him? Although Dr Rush had never used the word “breakdown” in layman’s terms wasn’t that what had happened to him? Both he and Alice had, had mental breakdowns. The affair must have affected Alice just as much as him. Alice’s mother must have been looking after her in a way at Tyrone, just like Dr Rush had been looking after him at the hospital.

  Just as he was having this realization, Audry came out of the house and announced she was going to the supermarket, as she did every Friday afternoon.

  “ Just sit there John and don’t go anywhere.”

  He watched as Audry backed the BMW out of the driveway. He was not sure how long, but it had taken a while for the clouds to lift from his mind. It seemed to all come clear to him. I can’t go on like this he thought. I’ve got to get out of here. He was gripped by a sudden sense of panic. Audry would be back soon!

  Into the house. Audry’s Mazda was in the garage but the keys were with her in her handbag. Where did she keep that spare set? He started to rummage through her draws in the bedroom, throwing everything on the floor. No not in there, god she had a lot of clothes. Where the hell were those damn keys? Then he remembered, she had put them in the top of the closet. Everything out, handbags, shoes, you name it. Finally, there they were. A feeling of relief came over him. But it was short lived. Downstairs to grab a suitcase from the cupboard under the staircase. Then back into the bedroom, as he stuffed in whatever clothes he could lay his hands on.

  Down to the garage. The battery was a bit flat, because instead of using her own car Audry had taken over using the BMW lately. But luckily, after a few slow groans, with the engine struggling to turn over, it started. He automatically reached for the button to open the garage door. It wasn’t there. No, this was Audry’s car and she had the C-Bus remote control for the Mazda, in her handbag with her keys.

  Out of the car, he could open the garage door from inside by pulling the cord near the motor and lifting the door manually. He backed out of the garage and down the driveway. Oh no, he couldn’t open the gates manually. What the heck. Bang, he backed straight into them and they sprang open immediately. Some security gates they were, he thought.

  It was dusk when he turned of the main road and onto the dirt track. Past the spot where he had crashed the BMW. Jane had heard the car coming and was standing at the front door of the cottage.

  “She’s in the kitchen.” She touched him on his upper arm as he walked past,

  “ Take it easy with her, she’s been through a lot.”

  Alice was sitting in a chair at the breakfast table reading a magazine. He sat down opposite her and put both hands on the table. They both just sat there for a while looking at each other, neither saying a word. That sense of calm
seemed to come over both of them again. Alice put down her magazine and he slowly reached across the table for her. For a while they sat facing each other and holding hands across the table by the fingertips, looking closely at each other. It was as if they were reading all they had been through in each other’s eyes.

  John got up from his chair and walked around the table as Alice rose to meet him. They stood there embracing each other. Tears were rolling down both their cheeks. They had both been along a long hard road.

  Yes he was home..... John had finally found Alice.